God, you know me

This week, in the midst of all that is going on, we get to read Psalm 139 - "God, you know me" (vs 1 CEB).  What a powerful sensation - to be fully and completely known, and loved anyway! The Psalm goes on to expound on God's presence, no matter where we go, no matter what is happening around us and on God's amazing artistry shown in the miracle of conception and birth. What an amazing thoughts: That we are never alone! That God planned for us to be just the way we are! That God knows exactly who we are! This week we explore a different kind of intimacy.

In this day and age of "enhancements" via plastic surgery or make up or tight undergarments, and illusions like "catfishing," spam phone calls and emails, and even politically correct speech, it is difficult to imagine authentically knowing and being fully known by another being. So often we feel we need to present the correct image, put on a respectable mask, do what is expected: Be strong when we feel like we are falling apart; Be polite when we feel like screaming harsh words; Look put together when we know the chaos hiding in our closets or basements. Why? Why do we feel such pressure? Why do we feel the need to pretend?  No one is perfect. Why do we feel the need to try to project a certain image? Do we need to be someone, something, other than ourselves to be accepted? Maybe people have standards of comfort and civility which may exclude others, but God doesn't expect us to be anything or anyone other than ourselves.  God knows us. According to the psalmist God is the one who 'knits" us together before we are even born and knows us inside and out, and chooses to be in relationship with us, faults and messiness and all. As the psalmist says in verse 6: 

"That kind of knowledge is too much for me; it's so high above me that I can't fathom it."

It is above human ability. experience or understanding. Who knows you that well?  Who is with you that consistently? 

There is a kind of reassurance when you discover someone likes, or even loves, you, just as you are. It can be unsettling when you are unsure whether it is the real you another person likes, or if it is some false image they have of you that is attracting them. There is a release of tension when you can just be yourself, and that is all God is asking you to be. God created you just the way you are.  God knows your capabilities and weaknesses and loves you, the real you. You are you and that is all God asks you to be. God doesn't expect us to be and do all someone else is and does. We are just asked to be the best self we can, and are loved even when we don't manage that.

God's love is so unfathomable.  

In verses 7-12 the psalmist expounds on God's never ending presence.  There is no place we can go that God is not already there. We can try to run away but God is always with us, waiting to enfold us in loving arms and strengthen us, whatever we are facing. Again, we are overwhelmed by God's love, which is not dependant on what we say or do, or where we go, but just is. 

Thinking about this has made me think about The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. It is a children's story about a little bunny that wants to run away but his mother bunny convinces him that, wherever he might go or whoever he might try to be, she will find him and take care of him. 

We are all God's children and caught in the conflicting desires of freedom to do whatever we want and the security of having someone else take care of us. God understands this. God understands us. God made us. God knows and loves each of our unique selves. This is a profound intimacy. God's incredible patience is shown in God's never ending call for us to come and rest in loving arms, knowing we are loved no matter what. 

So we can relax. We can come to God as we are.  We can throw tantrums around God, and God will still love us and want to enfold us in a loving embrace. We can be sad about things that are no big deal to someone else and God will care and wipe away our tears. We can talk to God about things we find confusing. God will listen. God will care. No, God does not take away all that is imperfect, frustrating, or difficult in our lives, but God will walk with us as we deal with these things.  We are not alone. Even when there is a part of us that wishes bad things for others, God will listen. God does not expect perfection, just an authentic connection.

May you feel God's loving arms surrounding you and supporting you, whatever you are facing. And may you know deep down inside that you are loved just as you are - even the parts of you that you may not like so much. God made you as you are. God loves you. God is with you. May you rest in this knowledge.